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The Royal Wedding is Only 2 Days Away!

04/27/2011

I don’t usually delve into celebrity gossip on Batshite, but Prince William and Kate Middleton are to marry Friday and I thought it only proper to devote a post to the hallowed institution they represent.

Will you be 1 of the projected 2 billion to view the proceedings? Here are some FUN FACTS to help whip you into a royal wedding FRENZY!

  • At their press conference Kate stipulated she would prefer to be called ‘Catherine.’
  • In college Prince William’s nickname was ‘P-Willy.’
  • 18 horses will take part in the Royal Carriage Procession.
  • 1,900 guests have been invited, from across the globe! Many of them are regal.
  • Street cleaning after the celebrations will cost an estimated $64,000. British taxpayers are to finance the cleanup.
  • Security for the event will cost up to $32 million. This will also be paid for using tax money, despite that security costs for other public events are covered by the organizers.
  • The wedding will cost the British economy $5 billion.
  • London is currently experiencing an air pollution episode. A member of the London Assembly has urged the mayor to issue a smog alert during the royal wedding.
  • Given “the role that meat and dairy play in the increased risks to health and the environment,” the royal wedding menu will be 100% vegan. April Fools! Lol, gotcha.
  • The royal wedding will create 6,765 tons of CO2–10 times the amount produced by Buckingham Palace in a year, and 1,230 times the yearly emissions of the average household in the UK.
  • Prime Minister David Cameron is encouraging Britons to ignore health and safety regulations and hold parties in the street.

I think Cameron strikes an enlightened note in these troubled times. Let’s not let considerations of safety, health, the economy and the environment get us down. So what if oil is running out? So what if, due to global warming, Earth’s oceans are acidifying at a rate 10 times faster than 55 millions years ago, right before a mass extinction of marine species occurred?

Let’s fucking PARTY!

One Comment leave one →
  1. Kimberley Walsh permalink
    04/27/2011 9:15 PM

    And don’t forget the most important part! Coverage in North America starts as early as 3am in some places. Hot Damn, I can’t wait to set my alarm to wake up for that! NOT! Who cares? Its a massive waste of time and money. Now don’t get me wrong. I believe in the institution of marriage, just not in the spending of Millions (billions?), shutting down a major city centre, and broadcasting it to the entire world just so everybody can see what the next big thing in wedding fashion will be.

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