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Why I Hate Cactuses

02/06/2011

I know home decorating is somewhat outside the scope of this blog, but this needs to be said: cactuses (or cacti, if you prefer) should not be found in any household, unless your aim is to repel your guests.

Cactuses belong in deserts. They evolved to adapt in dry environments where succor and sustenance is scarce. If you have a cactus in your home, think about the message you’re sending visitors. “This is a dead place. You will not find much food or even moisture here, and what little there is is guarded closely.”

Cactuses have spines (some have poisonous spines) in order to defend against predators interested in the water held within. Your guest may or may not be such a predator–it depends on what you give them to drink. The fact is cactuses are unable to distinguish between friend and foe. They will stick anything that comes in contact with it. Are you comfortable with the idea of your house plants defending themselves against your guests?

Seriously. Cactuses are like what Bowser puts in Mario’s way to prevent him from saving the Princess. Do you want to be the Bowser of hosting? This madness needs to stop.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Kimberley Walsh permalink
    02/07/2011 8:32 PM

    I agree, unless you live in the desert, please stop growing cactuses. With one exception: The Holiday Cactus. This plant comes in 3 varieties which all bloom around a major holiday. A Spring Cactus (Easter), The Fall Cactus (Thanksgiving) and The Winter Cactus (Christmas).

    Reasons why the Holiday Cactus is amazing:
    -This cactus lacks those nasty thorns.
    -Once a year blooms with bright (either pink, white or red) flowers.
    -Practically impossible to kill (especially if you put it in a self watering pot) Seriously I ignore that thing for months at a time.
    -The shape is kinda pretty and interesting.

    Here’s a picture:

  2. 02/08/2011 9:06 PM

    Hmm, the Holiday Cactus does sound ideal. Let this be the exception to the Cactus Rule!

  3. The GeWf permalink
    02/27/2011 6:38 PM

    Cactus are great! They are little traps to punish the clumsy.
    If you start bumbling round my home, my thorned sentinels deliver the proper consequences.

    stay away clumsy bumbler.

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