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Meditations on Slang

02/02/2011

The phrase “Your ass is grass” is not only an effective threat, but also a subtle delineation of Earth’s life cycle. The speaker is suggesting that he or she intends to murder the subject and afterward deposit the subject’s ‘ass’ (corpse) in a shallow grave, in which the subject will ultimately deteriorate, releasing valuable nutrients into the surrounding soil and aiding the growth of any grass in that area.

This phrase is not to be used lightly, and especially not without an advanced degree in Botany, Biology or Earth Science. Hoodlums and lawbreakers without the proper training are advised to use other, less tedious adages such as “I’m-a pop a cap in yo ass”, or “I’m-a make you my bitch.”

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